How Can Couples Therapy Help?

Like many of my clients you may be wondering just how couples therapy can help your relationship. There are many ways that couples therapy can help and many topics we can work on. The most common ones are:

- Communication Skills
- Conflict Resolution Skills
- Sexual issues/concerns
- Infidelity/Affair recovery
- Life adjustments after children, job change, moves etc
                                          ***This list isn’t exhaustive

Many of my couples come into work with me feeling pretty exhausted and questioning if their partner is really the right partner for them. Oftentimes I hear “ we love each other BUT are just not sure we are right for each other”. This is followed by a long list of things they don’t like in their relationship and oftentimes about their partner. Both partners are usually questioning if these are things they can deal with. Or let’s be honest, do they WANT to deal with anymore.

We all go into most relationships thinking the person we choose is the perfect fit for what we need and are looking for. There is no one better in our minds because if there where why are we committing to this one? They are perfect, make us feel whole, and we just enjoy them so much. Then reality sets in. The other shoe drops and we start to see our partners for the first time without the blinders of that high of the first stage of our relationship.

We think relationships are about compatibility. What if I told you that the reality is they are not?

What are they about, you ask?

Choices. Healing. Acceptance.

Daily. 

Great relationships are built daily by making choices, healing yourself and accepting your partner. I am sure you are thinking, is it that simple? Of course not! If completing those things were simple we wouldn’t have an over 50% divorce rate in the United States. All of us would figure out how to make it work. There is a lot that goes into those 3 things that create cycles within relationships and they just don’t feel great. 

That is where I come in. I can work with you and your partner to teach you:

-How to change your view of your relationship and move from blaming each other to accepting responsibility. 

-How to change the behaviors that keep you attacking each other and defending yourselves to   working together and learning to compromise

- How to stop arguing in circles and start communicating and listening

-How to stop feeling unheard and feel validated and cared for 

- How to stop turning away from your partner and instead turn towards
-How to stop thinking of only yourself and instead consider your partner and relationship 

- How to change the overall feeling of our relationship sucks to our relationship can work 

Relationship compatibility is a myth that is a set up by Hollywood and Fairytales and they don’t encompass the real, raw, work that is required to make relationships great. If you are and your partner are not sure how to make it work, let me help.